I feel so disappointed! I really wanted to do that 5K. But my darling husband says he will take me out to the local high school to run on their track tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

Thank you so much for the suggestions on my last post. I have taken some time to think about why I have trouble seeing the 199 on the scale.

One reason is my weight was a layer of protection. With it, I could filter out the shallow and cruel people. The ones that saw past the weight would be more tolerable. Now I have no filter. People are going to see the inside me much more easily and that scares me. Because I don’t love myself.

I don’t see the good my husband does. I think people will see that I’m not smart or funny or hard-working. They will see me for as I feel I am: slow, lame, and lazy.

I never knew this weight-loss journey would involve more than shedding pounds. Not only have I taken on losing 80 pounds, I’ve also taken on giving love to someone that I currently think does not deserve it.

I made
Strawberry-Almond Salad with Basil-Balsamic Vinaigrette and Classic Macaroni Salad. For dessert, our friends bought chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting and ice cream. So I went a little crazy eating a lot of the good food.

However, here are the mistakes I made:

1. Wanting to save my points to eat all the yummy food, I didn’t eat after breakfast until my friends showed up. By the time they did, I was starving.
2. Ate without measuring.
3. Didn’t ask myself when grabbing more food if I was hungry.

What I have learned is that I forgot, IT’S ONLY FOOD. And I should have eaten when I got hungry and not after. Leaving myself starving made it hard to slow down, measure, and think before eating.

My weight went up, naturally. But I don’t believe in “bad days”, only days to learn from.

His response? “No, you wouldn’t. Because you would have done it by now.”

That was so inspirational!

While on vacation, it was difficult to get good-tasting water if not at a restaurant AND not have the burden of carrying a water bottle around.

Ah, well. Now I am back and drinking my water. And back to losing the weight!!

When I returned to the scale this morning, I had lost a little more than half a pound. I was hoping to lose more in the past 10 days, but I am hoping that once I get my water intake back up, more weight will come off.

1. Eating what they eat.
2. When they eat it.
3. Constant offers of food, at the meal and between meals.
4. No lighter options available (ie fat-free, low-cal).

I didn’t realize these factors when I packed for our trip. Had I thought about it, I would have brought snacks for between meals. What else could I have done? Packed Italian dressing? So I am watching portions and kindly refusing offers for desserts and snacks. And I try to go on walks every so often.

Maria, a real estate agent, had lunch with a client at 1 pm.

It’s 3 pm. She’s back in her office. She’s itching to eat some of the baked goods that a co-worker left in the office kitchen.

She asks herself: How hungry am I? She thinks about the signals her body is sending her and realizes that she’s not very hungry at all. In fact, her stomach feels satisfied. “Just right.” She then asks herself, “Why, then, am I tempted by the pastries in the kitchen?”

She realizes that she’s feeling bored and is looking for a distraction.

It was so true! I just wanted something to do and noshing is a yummy way to kill time. So I got off my rear end and chatted up co-workers while waiting for my program to load. You’d guess that “Think before you eat” should be such a natural thing, but for me, it’s an effort!

I am looking forward to my vacation so much. It’s a sunny beach destination, away from work, away from this cruddy weather, and away from my cluttered house.

What do you do when you are in a funky mood like this?

Wednesday, as I tweeted what I ate and the total amount of points I’d used so far, I had left out a 2.5 point item out and I didn’t realize it until now looking back, but I was 2.5 points off. I ate 36.5 instead of the 34 I was so proud of.

How do you use your 35 points?

I am doing my weigh-in tonight. Keep an eye out for the results!

I was with four other people and some of their food came first, all varying subs with a side of fries. So I had to endure a good five minutes of repeated offers of fries to eat while waiting for my sub.

My sub arrived to the table and it came with fries! I ate the sub (8 points), but I didn’t touch the fries and offered them to the others. But I felt so guilty about not eating the fries because it was wasting food and everyone else was eating theirs. I caved and ate 6 of them. But I left a good helping of fries there and feel so bad about wasting food.

Now I know that I will have to be specific at this particular place and say, “No fries!”