I feel so disappointed! I really wanted to do that 5K. But my darling husband says he will take me out to the local high school to run on their track tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

Thank you so much for the suggestions on my last post. I have taken some time to think about why I have trouble seeing the 199 on the scale.

One reason is my weight was a layer of protection. With it, I could filter out the shallow and cruel people. The ones that saw past the weight would be more tolerable. Now I have no filter. People are going to see the inside me much more easily and that scares me. Because I don’t love myself.

I don’t see the good my husband does. I think people will see that I’m not smart or funny or hard-working. They will see me for as I feel I am: slow, lame, and lazy.

I never knew this weight-loss journey would involve more than shedding pounds. Not only have I taken on losing 80 pounds, I’ve also taken on giving love to someone that I currently think does not deserve it.

I am scared of breaking 200.

Don’t ask me why because I don’t know why! Going from 245 to 200 was easier than going from 200 to 199. And because of that, I’ve been eating just enough extra to keep my scale hovering over 200. It’s the fear of the unknown, fear of losing who I am, and fear of failure.

I need something to make me do the final push. I have to do this for my daughter. And if I don’t find something to motivate me, even if I do the 5K once a week, I’ll just eat more to keep me overweight.

Can you suggest something? Money is very tight right now, so it can’t be “buy something”. Also, I know there are people that have made this leap. Please share your stories here. What helped you?

But it will be even harder to complete this last half.

First, I will not be burning calories as fast as I could when I first started. Did you know that the amount you burn is based on your weight? At the last WW meeting, a member made copies of a table that listed the “Energy Expenditure for Selected Physical Activities.” (I found a copy here: http://tinyurl.com/mcfl3x)

Let’s take running at 5MPH. The energy expenditure is 0.070 cals/min/lb. At 246.2 pounds, I could burn 344.68 calories if I ran for 20 minutes. But now that I am 203.1, I would only burn 284.34 calories in 20 minutes. When I hit 160 pounds, it would only be 224 calories.

To overcome this, I will exercise more.

Secondly, my eating habits are routine, and the body tends to plateau when the same thing happens over and over. Nature fights to keep things in an even keel and will fight to keep it that way.

To overcome this, I will shake things up with adjusting calorie intake and exercise.

And lastly, between July 15th and April 6th are the holidays. Cookies, turkey, and potlucks, oh my! There is so much to celebrate and I should be happy. I will be faced with potluck after potluck. I will plan parties and dinners. It will get colder and I will want filling foods.

To overcome this, I will remind myself that I am NOT on a diet, I am changing my LIFEstyle and that doesn’t take a break for the holidays. I will NOT go back to my previous weight for the sake of the short-lived pleasure of mac and cheese or a cookie.

With this post, I am acknowledging that my weight-loss journey will be a bit more hilly and that I am ready to take it on.

Some people find before pictures depressing or motivating. My before picture is depressing until I lose enough weight. Then I am just amazed at how far I have come. How about you?

At 50 pounds lost, I will tell my friends and family. They are pretty far away and don’t see me a lot.

I have a WW milestone to lose another 10% and that will be another 5 pounds past 50.

What milestone are you working toward?