OMG, I feel like such an idiot. My hip and knee had been hurting when I go up stairs, but I knew running on a treadmill or a track would be OK. So we went to the 5K run and it was cross-country!! It was in teh forest and up small hills, and over roots. I even had to get over a big log. After the first mile, my hip was hurting and I stopped.
I feel so disappointed! I really wanted to do that 5K. But my darling husband says he will take me out to the local high school to run on their track tomorrow night. Wish me luck!
Thank you so much for the suggestions on my last post. I have taken some time to think about why I have trouble seeing the 199 on the scale.
One reason is my weight was a layer of protection. With it, I could filter out the shallow and cruel people. The ones that saw past the weight would be more tolerable. Now I have no filter. People are going to see the inside me much more easily and that scares me. Because I don’t love myself.
I don’t see the good my husband does. I think people will see that I’m not smart or funny or hard-working. They will see me for as I feel I am: slow, lame, and lazy.
I never knew this weight-loss journey would involve more than shedding pounds. Not only have I taken on losing 80 pounds, I’ve also taken on giving love to someone that I currently think does not deserve it.
#1 Running on a treadmill is way easier then on the street!
#2 About the whole 200 lbs thing, I totally feel you. Whenever I would tweet or talk about my weight I always wanted to say 154 but I’m really 145. I’d do a double take and go weigh myself to make sure it was real. FOUR times in 2 weeks I did that. We all have our number whether it’s lbs or clothes size. YOU WILL REACH 160!