Weight for 160

Hello! Long time, no see. Despite my absence from Twitter and my blog, I have been working on my weight loss, but not in a manner that I thought I would be.

I suffer from depression and a couple weeks, I hit a low spot. I’ve never had thoughts of ending my life or anyone else’s, but I found no energy or willpower to live my life. A friend recently suggested an idea as an alternative to medicine or therapy and I’m a bit shy to express what it is, but you could call it group therapy. And I think what I am having and have had problems with is deciding I deserve to lose weight. Because of factors out of my control, I have been unable to see myself as a worthy and credible person. Now that I know that that’s not normal and needs correction, it’s what I’ve been working on.

I’ve eaten less and have been going to my WW meetings and have gone to a fun aerobics class with a friend and intend to join that gym. I have a long way to go and I know you would want to know. Thank you.

It took all the encouragement my husband had in him, but he got me out the door to go to my first Weight Watchers meeting in months. I talked to the leader afterwards and she was very encouraging.

But I am still lacking motivation.

I would tweet more, but I haven’t had time to read from any of my social networking sites and I feel that it wouldn’t be right to tweet, but not read. I wouldn’t want to farm encouragement when I don’t have any to give.

I hope everyone is doing well. Wish me luck as I keep trying!

Let me be honest here. I am a failure. There is no way in Kansas that I’ll be 160 pounds by my 30th birthday. I’ve hit a number of sidetracks and I’ve had the darndest time getting back on track. Holidays, snow storms, and my gym closed due to minor flooding.

I think I can still hit that weight by the end of this year, but I haven’t been able to get back on track. I get so discouraged when I think the only way to eat right is to track points. I can’t trust myself to eat just what I need. And that means I would have to track for the rest of my life. What is more discouraging than that thought???

I want to be thin with no effort. I want my parents to pay for it because they taught me to eat this way. And I want to eat and eat and eat.

I’m just not sure how to get where I was last year.

I completed my goal of staying on a schedule. I went to the gym Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. Thursdays, I take mass transit to work so that my husband can have the car one day a week. Monday mornings are the hardest after a weekend of nothing resembling a schedule, but I made it in to the gym this morning!

My goal this week is to keep track of my food, WW-style. Then next week, it will be to trim it to what I was eating before August: 31 points per day. When I was at the bookstore this weekend, I bought The Calorie Counter For Dummies. That should help!

GOOD MONDAY TO YOU!!

I am trying to back into the routine that I had 6 months ago and was finding it hard. I wasn’t getting enough sleep, my family is sick, the baby is not sleeping through the night, and it’s cold out there!!! I was trying to jump into it all at once.

So last week, I decided to work small. First, get sleep! And to do that, I needed to schedule my life again. Last night and this morning, I ran a little late, but I got it going. And because of a schedule, I got some gym time in this morning. It was just a couple miles on the treadmill, but it’s a start!

So that is my goal for just this week: just keep in the schedule.

3:30AM Wake up
4:30AM Leave the house
5:00AM Arrive at gym, workout, shower
6:30AM Work
3:30PM Go home
7:30PM Go to bed

I have various things going on when I get home, so I hope I can get it all done by 7:30!

HOW IS YOUR MONDAY???? !!!!

Shortly after my last post, my grandmother came into town for my daughter’s first birthday and knowingly brought the flu with her. It’s been a horrible, horrible week. I got it first, and then just as I started to feel better, my little girl got sick. She spent her birthday miserable. I’ve lost 5 pounds just this week because I wasn’t eating much.

I am still here! I’ve been super busy, but I’ve lost motivation as well. I think “Today, I’m going to tweet again and keep track!” and then… I don’t. I’ve maintained my weight and haven’t gained. So I’m really happy about that.

One day, I will get back on with my goal of 160 before my birthday. Believe in me!